Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Vigilance

Last week I went to an event and had a fire lit under my bum and wrote the post below.  I didn't publish it because I thought maybe I was being a weirdo.  I am aware that I have beyond the average amount of paranoia so try to limit my projections. 

After a conversation tonight with a gal I met at last weeks event, it became apparent that we need to not think that we are at fault or there is something wrong with our way of thinking, especially when we are erring on the side of being too cautious.

Is the world a beautiful place?  Yes.  It is so beautiful! 

I would sincerely like to think there is more good than bad, more beauty than evil.  Although I would love to believe that, it doesn't mean I go around with my head up my ass assuming that since I'm a good person, bad things (or people) can't happen to me. 

I've seen bad people, I've met them, and I've heard about them.  They are there.  They are here. 

Below is the post from last week and my attempts to help you see the bad in the world and tips on how to keep the bad guys at bay.

***

I went to an event last night.  It was a great time.

I met Carin of Memoirs of a Clueless Woman, my new networking bestie (and new personal close friend) at "our spot" then we rode together to the location.

We met a few people there who we knew would attend because of Twitter.  One of our favorite topics came up within a few minutes of being there.  Social Media, obvi. 

In our circle of about 5 girls I mentioned how I met one of the other bloggers at an event and we tweeted a pic.  One of my close friends sent me a comment and said, "I know her!".  It's a great first meeting story.  Each networking event I've been to this gal has been there.  We have known we will see each other in advance because of Twitter. 

After about an hour or so of mingling I had a concerning conversation with one of the gals there.  There's a guy who Tweets her.  She'll post a pic or a video and he sends her messages about how cute she looks.  He sent her a direct message.  She responded that she is married. 

She says "he seems harmless" "he's tweeting directly to me so anyone can see it on my message, or his page."  And "he has a picture for an avatar, it's not like he's trying to be anonymous." 

She uploaded a picture from the event and literally as we were talking about him, he tweets her that she looks cute. 

I became very uncomfortable.  Like raised blood pressure and racing thoughts uncomfortable. 

We talked about how to handle him and truth be told, I had no idea.   Anger the beast, ignore him, be polite?  I said maybe her husband could send him a message.  It sounded stupid when I said it.  What do you do?

She said she was about to head out and I kind of freaked.  I asked where she parked.  She said that she was just out front and pointed through the window.  I felt good because my brain had already decided that if she was in the garage Carin and I parked in, I was going to force my body guard services on her. 

There are lots of women and girls on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, that are interested in having men and boys let them know how attractive they are.  There are women that want to be oogled and lusted after. 

Then there are women who post pictures of events they go to as a way to represent their company, brand, or promote a company they are supporting.  Those women shouldn't be targeted. 

No woman should be targeted.

***

That's all I wrote that morning.  Back to right now after tonight's event.  I found out from the mutual acquaintance tonight that not only has this guy been tweeting her, he's been in the same vicinity as her at the same time.  Sketch!  Alert! 

Since I have no clue how to handle that guy, and gladly welcome comments from anyone who has a rational way to handle it, all I can do is provide some tips in the off chance that someone is targeting you.  Scary but this shit has to be said.

If you have to put your future whereabouts all over social media as a source of promoting or advertising an event, carpool with someone.  You can meet up at a location in between you two (that's what Carin and I do) or meet up a couple blocks from the venue.

On your person carry mace, a concealed weapon (with a permit of course), a pair of hair trimming scissors that fit in your clutch that you can grab and gauge a guys eyes out with. 

Take some self defense or martial arts classes.  Or even youtube some ideas.  If you have your hand flat with your thumb under the pointer finger, and hit someone in the temple next to the eye socket, (with the meaty part of your hand) you can kill them with 7 lbs of force.

Always tell your spouse, roommate, Aa (my sister, not alc anon), whoever your person is, where you are going and what time you should be home.  I write down the venue name and phone number for the babysitter just in case.  That way it's in writing too.

Make sure you have enough gas in your car to get there and back and to get lost (every freaking time I go somewheres new!).  Make sure your cell is charged too and that you have a back up charger in your car.

Know where local police stations are located.  The night before senior year my two gf's and I were harassed in our car by some hellyuns.  Their driver was pacing our car and throwing stuff at us!  We thought we were going to die.  After 5 minutes of us freaking out and then 5 minutes on the phone with a 911 operator who was unhelpful, one of us had the brilliant idea to drive to the police station.  The perps bounced as soon as they realized where we had delivered them.

If you have a set commitment that you go to, change how you get there.  Don't take the same route.  This was part of my FU (First Union) training.  I was a bank teller and responsible for receiving monies shipments.  The bank encouraged us to never be consistent.  I shall now blame them for all my inconsistencies.  Seriously though, in training they tell you to be hyper vigilante with your surroundings, take different routes and arrive at different times.  Same should be the case if you feel like someone may be targeting you. 

That's all I can come up with now.  I want you gals to stay safe.  If you ever need a carpool buddy, let me know.  Please trust your gut.

If anyone feels like it's more than a cyber crush and serious action needs to be taken immediately we can get a group to start a super secret hashtag about a fake upcoming event.  When the creep shows up to look but not touch he will be greeted by a bunch of husbands, brothers, friends with baseball bats.  You know, for a nice game of baseball. Just sayin... 

Stay safe and vigilant my beauties.

2 comments:

  1. Great tips! I'm always nervous about "checking in" on facebook and giving my current whereabouts for these reasons. I've been stalked before. It's a hard situation to get out of (not to mention scary and dangerous). You spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder. Better not to put yourself in vulnerable situations. Would love to hear other readers' tips for staying safe on social media.

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  2. I can understand why you were freaked and don't think you were just being paranoid. You just never know peoples intentions sometimes and that guy would raise some alarms for me too. It's never a bad idea to be prepared and aware so thank you for the tips. I have never understood people that constantly post where they are or where they are going on a regular basis. Again, you just never know. No woman should be targeted, I agree but too unfortunately, bad things happen.

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