During my defense agency stint, when I was a Stay In School employee and required to take college classes, I took English 101 at the community college.
In the entrance exam I scored so low that the teacher recommended I take ESL classes. No crap. ESL = English as a second language.
I used to think that I was retarded. Like, literally.
As I told you in the About me section I got my first D in the 3rd grade. There were many D's to follow.
I had at least 3 teachers (I only blatantly knew 3, but am certain there were many more) give me passing grades so that I could go on to the next grade and even graduate high school.
The crazy thing was the stuff I could retain and comprehend.
I would fail a biology test, but get all the extra credit answers right.
I would get points taken off for not showing how I calculated the answer, but ultimately got the answer correct.
It wasnt until after I had kids when my brain (and freakin hormones) rewired, that I realized Im not an idiot and those above incidences werent flukes.
I dont totes attribute my newfound recognized genius to having kids, there were many factors including bright puzzles that speak (I now know where each state is located!) and simplified childrens books (clouds are water particles!).
Over the past few years, after having the kids and "leaving" the workforce, I have come to a few conclusions. I can learn, it just has to be presented in a specific way. Also, it is way easier for me to learn and retain something that I have an interest in.
I also recognized that the anxiety of underperforming is what made me do so horrible in school. I was unable to grasp basic information because of the physical and emotional responses that were happening inside of me. The elevated stress hormones, adrenaline, inner critic, etc.
Now that Im not required to learn, I dont experience that stress anymore and can actually learn!