Thursday, February 28, 2013
The owner of one of the companies I used to work for regularly attempted to motivate his employees with the order, "Don't ever say "I'll try to do it" to me. Just say "I'll do it". Saying "try" implies that you may not succeed." He was a dip stick.
Initially we have to try everything. We try new foods, new shows, new activities. We try to be better people, we try to understand and we try to have compassion.
About a month ago my husband and I had a talk that happens every year. The timing of this talk occurs with such precision you would think it was written on our calendar. *Yet it still surprises me every time, until retrospection.*
I said I thought I was doing better this winter and asked for specific instances of when he felt I was too down. He gave me some examples, which all made sense. We ended the conversation with my statement, "I'll try harder.".
For anyone suffering from depression please dont misconstrue my "try harder" to mean I will try not to be depressed. As written in past posts, awareness of depression is what jump starts the healing process in my case. When I finally recognize it is happening again then adjustments can be made to my diet, sleep schedule, vitamin B intake, exercise (and by exercise I mean walking), and exposure to negative people and/or activities. When I said I would "try harder" it meant to recognize when I can take better care of myself and attempt to lessen the lows with the personal remedies mentioned above.
Fast forward a couple weeks to a conversation where my husband became the subject in need of some work. As we talked I mentioned I had tried to work on the things we discussed and asked if he noticed an improvement. He said he did. We talked more about the issue and then he said, "I'll try harder."
For some reason, instead of my husband's usual "I'll do better", his "I'll try harder" had more of a positive impact on me. Maybe it's the arrogance of assuming we can just do it, instead of trying. Trying takes effort. Saying I'll do it makes it seem like it is an easy and quick fix.
"I'll try harder" could be the most powerful words my husband has ever said to me. And you know why, because he is trying. And he is succeeding. He turned trying into doing and that makes me so proud.
Inspiration for this post came from Jen at Life on the Sonny Side's entertaining post and Pink's song "Try".