Throughout the past couple weeks I've been randomly hearing Alanis Morissette's and Dido's "Thank You" a lot. Enough where it has stood out that I need to thank someone or someones. As my hoards (sarcasm party people) of Facebook and Twitter followers know, my sister took my boys last night for a slumber party. As I drove to pick them up today I wrote this post in my head. Something about driving, a venti bold coffee and the wind in my face never fails to put words in my head.
Here is a post to my sisters by birth and my sister by law. To prevent them from feeling awkward for being called out, or counting to compare how many each have, I will only address them as sister(s):
Thank you to the sister that forces me to let her take my boys
so I can get a much needed break. For showing me that when you let go
of the kids for a bit, they come back sparkly and new.
Thank you to the sister(s) who work in male predominant fields and prove that women can succeed and bypass men through hard work and dedication.
Thank you to the sister who loves her brother so much it helped me love him more.
Thank you to the sister who made me realize first hand how important it is to show up in person for people, even if it is just for half an hour before heading to the office.
Thank you to all my sisters for loving my sons as their own.
Thank you to the sister that proves to me that no matter how little formal education you have, common sense can make you a genius.
Thank you to the sister(s) who introduced me to amazing artists: Suzanne Vega, 10,000 Maniacs, NIN, Tori Amos, OAR, Outkast, Metallica, Simon and Garfunkel, Grateful Dead, Busta Rhymes, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Peter Paul & Mary, Dixie Chics, etc.
Thank you to the sister(s) who care so much about women's equality and show me the importance of watching what is said in front of impressionable young girls.
Thank you to my sister who sings as loud as possible, no matter who is around. She's got a song to sing, and she WILL sing it.
Thanks to the sister who brought me a gift basket including chocolate, wine, olive oil, etc when I broke my foot. The basket also included Rooibos tea, a South African healer, that I drink now whenever life is too much.
Thank you to the sister I thought was super serious for enjoying things like: Glee, The Simpsons, Pink (the singer), etc
Thanks to my sister(s) who never warned me about how difficult it is to be a parent and that only listened and offered what they experienced as advice.
Thank you to my sister that is doing ground breaking things and deciding that she will do it as a service to the people, instead of as a profitable venture. Absolutely inspiring.
Thank you to the sister(s) who teach me about mother nature and ways to treat her kind.
Thanks to the sister who showed me how important it is to lean on family, when needed.
Thank you to all of my sisters for their senses of humor.
Thank you to the sister who taught me that just because a close friend
is venting, doesn't mean she wants your opinion. That sometimes a
friend just needs a listening ear.
This is just a short list of things I thought about on the road and while writing this. My sisters have helped mold me into what I am today. I love them and the women they have become.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Monday, May 13, 2013
Aggression
I was driving back to work after my lunch break. I see a guy walking his two dogs. I start to smile and immediately think "Wow, what an awesome guy! Most people leave their pets cooped up in their crates from 7 am til 6 pm, or 9 pm if they have happy hour, and here this guy is going home on his lunch break to walk his dogs. Why cant I find a guy like this? There are good guys out there!"
I get closer to my dream guy and notice one of the dogs pull away so he can sniff something. The owner pulled the leash and the dog resists. The guy yanked the dog as hard as he could and then proceeded to kick the dog in the ribs. As I drive past him, in absolute shock, I look in the rear view mirror and he is still kicking the dog! My mind told me to keep driving, but I couldn't not do anything. I busted a u-turn and pulled up next to him (still kicking the dog), rolled down my window and screamed "Do you not want that dog?" He thought he was alone and my voice startled him so much he jumped. He looks over and sees me, a teenage girl all alone in her Ford Escort, and says "What'd you say?!" Then I said, "DO YOU WANT TO KEEP THAT DOG!" He shrugs me off with a smirk and starts to walk.
Cars came up behind me so I had to start driving. I didnt know what to do but this guy needed his dogs to be taken away or at least learn a lesson. No one else saw what happened, so I couldnt flag someone down to help me set this guy straight. There wasnt anywhere to park and, although the adrenaline was pumping through my veins, I knew that jumping out of the car to "talk" with this guy would probably end with me on the side of the road in a bloody crumpled heap. This was also pre cell phone days so I couldnt call any friends to meet me while I stalked him on his way to his house.
Feeling the most helpless I had ever felt in my short life I started to bawl. I forced myself to stop because it wasn't productive and I wasnt able to think clear. After about 5 minutes of driving I contemplate stopping at a pay phone and calling animal control. By then I knew even if I called and someone arrived, f$&!face would have his pets back at home. I had to convince myself that it was good enough that I yelled at him because it shocked him enough to get him to stop kicking the dog.
I know that people treat pets as property but whenever I see aggressive and violent behavior it makes me question where it stops. It's ok to hit and kick an animal but not a human. I can hit my wife but would never lay a hand on my kid, they are defenseless. I feel like if you are aggressive and can't control your rage against an animal, maybe you can't so much with a human too.
I was reminded of this traumatizing ordeal last weekend when I was in a parking lot and saw a man very aggressively yanking on his dog. This time was different. It wasn't as bad because he didn't start kicking his dog, but it was worse because he was mistreating the dog in front of his son who had to be 8 or so. This time was also different because I didn't do anything. Same situation. In a car, by myself.
I didn't say anything because what if I pissed him off enough where he went home and beat his kid? I know not all people who abuse their pets abuse their kids but who knows in this situation. Maybe having some woman confront him on his mistreatment of his pet in front of his child would be the last straw. Or, maybe he would use his rage against me making him an even worse example to his impressionable son. What would I say anyways? "If you don't want that dog I'll take him to the closest SPCA?" "You must have it really bad at work if you are so mistreated you have to take it out on a helpless animal that is literally tied to your wrist and can't get away." "Will you really be surprised when your child turns into an abusive bully or the dog bites one of you?"
What should I have said?
A few days after that I am sitting in our front yard with the boys. I see a dad walking his dog. He's on his cell phone and his two sons, probably 7 and 4, are walking pretty far in front of him. They're headed our way so I'm excited the boys can meet neighborhood kids. The dad's completely oblivious on his phone having a heated convo while I see the 4 yo start to pass the 7 yo. The 7 yo grabs the 4 yo and yanked him as hard as he could, almost knocking the 4 yo over. The little one looked miserable. The big one looked happy. It made me nauseous. Again, I didn't say anything.
I understand that I am no longer the fire pistol who had very little cognizance of the repercussions of confronting an aggressive man. I also practically always have one or both boys with me so it is engrained to not do or say anything, because that could potentially invite violence towards us or I may respond in a way I may regret.
Since I met my husband he has always ran towards fights, or potentially hazardous situations, to offer help and I have always urged him not to do it. I tell him to protect himself. I don't want him to get hurt by trying to help someone else, especially a stranger. But now I get it. I understand what he was doing. Why he feels called to respond.
If I've learned anything in the past couple years it's that these things are happening in front of me for a reason. There is some lesson I am supposed to learn or some action that needs to be taken. I just don't know what.
I can't stomach seeing things like this happen to vulnerable children, and in front of vulnerable children. I also really don't want to raise my boys to look the other way. Or worse, condone the mistreatment of any living being be it their dog or brother or anyone.
It doesn't feel right in my body or mind to just watch it happen when I know it's wrong.
What are we supposed to do? What are we supposed to say? Does anyone have any recommendations (personal, books, articles, anything!)? Is there a way to try to diffuse an aggressive situation that could do more good than harm?
I get closer to my dream guy and notice one of the dogs pull away so he can sniff something. The owner pulled the leash and the dog resists. The guy yanked the dog as hard as he could and then proceeded to kick the dog in the ribs. As I drive past him, in absolute shock, I look in the rear view mirror and he is still kicking the dog! My mind told me to keep driving, but I couldn't not do anything. I busted a u-turn and pulled up next to him (still kicking the dog), rolled down my window and screamed "Do you not want that dog?" He thought he was alone and my voice startled him so much he jumped. He looks over and sees me, a teenage girl all alone in her Ford Escort, and says "What'd you say?!" Then I said, "DO YOU WANT TO KEEP THAT DOG!" He shrugs me off with a smirk and starts to walk.
Cars came up behind me so I had to start driving. I didnt know what to do but this guy needed his dogs to be taken away or at least learn a lesson. No one else saw what happened, so I couldnt flag someone down to help me set this guy straight. There wasnt anywhere to park and, although the adrenaline was pumping through my veins, I knew that jumping out of the car to "talk" with this guy would probably end with me on the side of the road in a bloody crumpled heap. This was also pre cell phone days so I couldnt call any friends to meet me while I stalked him on his way to his house.
Feeling the most helpless I had ever felt in my short life I started to bawl. I forced myself to stop because it wasn't productive and I wasnt able to think clear. After about 5 minutes of driving I contemplate stopping at a pay phone and calling animal control. By then I knew even if I called and someone arrived, f$&!face would have his pets back at home. I had to convince myself that it was good enough that I yelled at him because it shocked him enough to get him to stop kicking the dog.
I know that people treat pets as property but whenever I see aggressive and violent behavior it makes me question where it stops. It's ok to hit and kick an animal but not a human. I can hit my wife but would never lay a hand on my kid, they are defenseless. I feel like if you are aggressive and can't control your rage against an animal, maybe you can't so much with a human too.
I was reminded of this traumatizing ordeal last weekend when I was in a parking lot and saw a man very aggressively yanking on his dog. This time was different. It wasn't as bad because he didn't start kicking his dog, but it was worse because he was mistreating the dog in front of his son who had to be 8 or so. This time was also different because I didn't do anything. Same situation. In a car, by myself.
I didn't say anything because what if I pissed him off enough where he went home and beat his kid? I know not all people who abuse their pets abuse their kids but who knows in this situation. Maybe having some woman confront him on his mistreatment of his pet in front of his child would be the last straw. Or, maybe he would use his rage against me making him an even worse example to his impressionable son. What would I say anyways? "If you don't want that dog I'll take him to the closest SPCA?" "You must have it really bad at work if you are so mistreated you have to take it out on a helpless animal that is literally tied to your wrist and can't get away." "Will you really be surprised when your child turns into an abusive bully or the dog bites one of you?"
What should I have said?
A few days after that I am sitting in our front yard with the boys. I see a dad walking his dog. He's on his cell phone and his two sons, probably 7 and 4, are walking pretty far in front of him. They're headed our way so I'm excited the boys can meet neighborhood kids. The dad's completely oblivious on his phone having a heated convo while I see the 4 yo start to pass the 7 yo. The 7 yo grabs the 4 yo and yanked him as hard as he could, almost knocking the 4 yo over. The little one looked miserable. The big one looked happy. It made me nauseous. Again, I didn't say anything.
I understand that I am no longer the fire pistol who had very little cognizance of the repercussions of confronting an aggressive man. I also practically always have one or both boys with me so it is engrained to not do or say anything, because that could potentially invite violence towards us or I may respond in a way I may regret.
Since I met my husband he has always ran towards fights, or potentially hazardous situations, to offer help and I have always urged him not to do it. I tell him to protect himself. I don't want him to get hurt by trying to help someone else, especially a stranger. But now I get it. I understand what he was doing. Why he feels called to respond.
If I've learned anything in the past couple years it's that these things are happening in front of me for a reason. There is some lesson I am supposed to learn or some action that needs to be taken. I just don't know what.
I can't stomach seeing things like this happen to vulnerable children, and in front of vulnerable children. I also really don't want to raise my boys to look the other way. Or worse, condone the mistreatment of any living being be it their dog or brother or anyone.
It doesn't feel right in my body or mind to just watch it happen when I know it's wrong.
What are we supposed to do? What are we supposed to say? Does anyone have any recommendations (personal, books, articles, anything!)? Is there a way to try to diffuse an aggressive situation that could do more good than harm?
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Blogging
I wrote this back in February but was full of pees and vinegar so didnt post it. I was going through a bit of a slump and lost track of the ultimate purpose of this blog. Well, maybe I didn't have the purpose fully formed in my mind yet?
In late January I did my last reveal with a big group of friends and removed the anonymity by posting my name and a picture of myself. The numbers jumped. Not because of my picture, but maybe (jk), but because of the number of people I told.
I've had growth each month but when you have access to the numbers, it can become an obsession. The growth wasn't where I wanted it to be. It was growing, but not by leaps and bounds. If it had grown by leaps and bounds that would have made me overly paranoid about which friends were sharing me with who. Welcome into my head, it's a bizarre place.
After about a week of feeling low self worth, I decided to bring my mind chatter to my lucky husband.
I said, "Husband. I don't know about this blogging thing anymore."
He said, "Why?".
I said, "I don't know, it's just so quiet. I don't think the message is getting across. I don't even know what the message is. What's the point of doing it?"
He said, "Why did you start?"
I said, "I wanted to be able to connect with people who may be going through similar situations as me."
He said, "Why have you continued to do it for the past 6 months?"
Me, "Because it is an amazing release. I'm able to write something then read it later and figure out what it meant. It gives me clarity. It will paint a picture for the boys of who their mom was while they were too little to have their own memories. It has improved how I can communicate in conversations and by written word."
Him, "So you love it, it helps you, and it's improving your communication skills? What's there to question? Who cares if no one reads it? Do it for you."
Sorry girls, he's taken!
Since that conversation there hasn't been a doubt or question as to why I'm doing this. This is why I should talk to my husband more often. Jk babe!
The reason I'm sharing with you what my brilliant husband said, and what I wrote before my convo with him is because maybe it will provide you with a little bit of encouragement to keep on keepin on.
Here goes:
It can be very lonely and insecure in the blogosphere.
I would love to see the stats on how many bloggers that have lasted over a year are middle children. Used to being ignored and/or unheard, happy for any modicum of attention, grasping for respect and approval from their 'older siblings', ie, the bloggers who have been with it for years and have a faithful following. Like high school (and that Kanye West song with the amazing beat) there are cliques, which makes it harder than it should be.
It takes a very thick skin to continue with it.
You never really know if people are laughing with you, or at you. Or, just shaking their head and thinking, "that poor moron". How long do you kick the dead horse before quitting? Until there is a formal intervention where someone tells you that people see you, but they don't get you.
###
This morning I was reminded of this post in my drafts because I received Tara Mohr's latest blog post in my mail box. She says, "This year, one of the things I wanted was for all of you to know – hey, it’s my birthday! And yes, one of the things I’d love to receive are birthday wishes from you. After all, I spend a lot of time writing to you every year – you are important in my life!" Amen, Tara! Amen! Sometimes you just have to ask for what you want. She's not asking for you to send her a card, or donate money to a purse fund, or tell her you love her. She simply wants a "Happy Birthday" so she can SEE her readers on her special day.
Before the talk with my husband I had my very special girls: Karen at Baking in a Tornado, Anna at The Mommy Padawan, Jen at Life on the SONny Side, and Deb at a Mom and a Microphone that kept me going. Other bloggers get it, that's why we comment on each others stuff. It's nice to hear what people have to say. It's not necessary, but it helps and it's encouraging.
So, if you are a blogger, or are thinking about getting into it, just keep in mind why you are. Ask my man's questions to yourself. Do you love it? Does it make you happy? Does it improve your life or communication skills? If you ask yourself these questions and the answers are yes, then:
I'm now taking an informal poll of birth order placement and bloggers. In the comments below, please respond with your birth order and how long you have blogged. If you used to have a blog and quit (kudos for still reading blogs and not throwing your interwebs out of the window) , please comment on your birth order and how long you had your blog for, and if you would have continued if you received more feedback.
In late January I did my last reveal with a big group of friends and removed the anonymity by posting my name and a picture of myself. The numbers jumped. Not because of my picture, but maybe (jk), but because of the number of people I told.
I've had growth each month but when you have access to the numbers, it can become an obsession. The growth wasn't where I wanted it to be. It was growing, but not by leaps and bounds. If it had grown by leaps and bounds that would have made me overly paranoid about which friends were sharing me with who. Welcome into my head, it's a bizarre place.
After about a week of feeling low self worth, I decided to bring my mind chatter to my lucky husband.
I said, "Husband. I don't know about this blogging thing anymore."
He said, "Why?".
I said, "I don't know, it's just so quiet. I don't think the message is getting across. I don't even know what the message is. What's the point of doing it?"
He said, "Why did you start?"
I said, "I wanted to be able to connect with people who may be going through similar situations as me."
He said, "Why have you continued to do it for the past 6 months?"
Me, "Because it is an amazing release. I'm able to write something then read it later and figure out what it meant. It gives me clarity. It will paint a picture for the boys of who their mom was while they were too little to have their own memories. It has improved how I can communicate in conversations and by written word."
Him, "So you love it, it helps you, and it's improving your communication skills? What's there to question? Who cares if no one reads it? Do it for you."
Sorry girls, he's taken!
Since that conversation there hasn't been a doubt or question as to why I'm doing this. This is why I should talk to my husband more often. Jk babe!
The reason I'm sharing with you what my brilliant husband said, and what I wrote before my convo with him is because maybe it will provide you with a little bit of encouragement to keep on keepin on.
Here goes:
It can be very lonely and insecure in the blogosphere.
I would love to see the stats on how many bloggers that have lasted over a year are middle children. Used to being ignored and/or unheard, happy for any modicum of attention, grasping for respect and approval from their 'older siblings', ie, the bloggers who have been with it for years and have a faithful following. Like high school (and that Kanye West song with the amazing beat) there are cliques, which makes it harder than it should be.
It takes a very thick skin to continue with it.
You never really know if people are laughing with you, or at you. Or, just shaking their head and thinking, "that poor moron". How long do you kick the dead horse before quitting? Until there is a formal intervention where someone tells you that people see you, but they don't get you.
###
This morning I was reminded of this post in my drafts because I received Tara Mohr's latest blog post in my mail box. She says, "This year, one of the things I wanted was for all of you to know – hey, it’s my birthday! And yes, one of the things I’d love to receive are birthday wishes from you. After all, I spend a lot of time writing to you every year – you are important in my life!" Amen, Tara! Amen! Sometimes you just have to ask for what you want. She's not asking for you to send her a card, or donate money to a purse fund, or tell her you love her. She simply wants a "Happy Birthday" so she can SEE her readers on her special day.
Before the talk with my husband I had my very special girls: Karen at Baking in a Tornado, Anna at The Mommy Padawan, Jen at Life on the SONny Side, and Deb at a Mom and a Microphone that kept me going. Other bloggers get it, that's why we comment on each others stuff. It's nice to hear what people have to say. It's not necessary, but it helps and it's encouraging.
So, if you are a blogger, or are thinking about getting into it, just keep in mind why you are. Ask my man's questions to yourself. Do you love it? Does it make you happy? Does it improve your life or communication skills? If you ask yourself these questions and the answers are yes, then:
 |
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Service
It was my "day off" and all I wanted to do was lay
in bed with the laptop and work on something my heart was pulled to be a part
of. Typically on my day off I want to spend it as a family unit (and then
later feel martyrish because I didn't get time away from the boys), shop, hang out with girlfriends, or watch mind
numbing tv marathons.
This day off was different, though. Earlier that week I offered to do something, with no prompting, and when the time to do it presented itself, I still had the passion to do it! That was a very new and exciting feeling for me, so I immediately had to share it with my husband.
I ran to the bathroom and said,
"Thank you so much for working so hard so I can do the things I'm called to do!"
My husband stared at me frozen with the toothbrush still in his mouth.
I continue, "It's an amazing feeling to be able to take care of the boys and have the energy and want to help others on my day off!"
He stared, I shrugged with a smile, then ran back to bed and pulled the covers to my chin.
For a little less than a decade I've been drawn to "service" but fear kept me from taking on more than just a few projects. I was fearful because of an inner monologue telling me I was "too flakey". I was also afraid if I volunteered I would get suckered into doing more than I felt I should and end up drained, instead of feeling fulfilled. As you can tell from that statement, I was also never in a mental place where giving and doing was from a place of purity, not ego driven.
A couple weeks prior to my day off, Tara Mohr explained in our first Playing Big teleconference that a big misconception regarding callings is that we have only one ultimate calling in our lifetime. Sometimes we can have one large calling and be called to do many other things. Or, our main calling can change over time. Or maybe we just have lots of small callings.
Since the Calling call, and the universes very loud and unsubtle signals for one event in particular, I have been opening myself up to different things. Events, people, projects, etc.
Recently the strongest calling is to simply be there. A call to be present. Being present for others when they are going through something difficult, so they know not to give up hope. So the affected can feel how community bonds us and can lift us up when we need it to. That weakness, sadness, and/or loneliness is less difficult when surrounded by caring, loving and present company. When allowing others to help them when they need it, they are learning to help others.
I asked my husband later that night why he didn't respond to what I said to him. He said he wasn't sure what I meant or if I was being serious. In retrospect, it was confusing. My gratitude was serious. My husband fulfills me and is the most remarkable guy I know. Without complaint, he works 6 days a week so I can stay at home with the boys. If I need help, he graciously offers.
We talk about me working in the future, but he is willing to continue working this schedule if that's what will keep me a happy and well rounded woman. Full time jobs and my psyche dont mix well, especially during the winter.
It is so beautiful to have my husband's unwavering support, even when it is to help a stranger and assist in something I don't even quite understand yet.
Having my husband's love, support, and security fulfills me in a way I wish everyone could feel. Add that to the Playing Big program and my life is becoming one filled with determination to be available to respond to future callings of purpose. Whatever they may be!
Similar posts: GIVING, SUPPORT, WISH
This day off was different, though. Earlier that week I offered to do something, with no prompting, and when the time to do it presented itself, I still had the passion to do it! That was a very new and exciting feeling for me, so I immediately had to share it with my husband.
I ran to the bathroom and said,
"Thank you so much for working so hard so I can do the things I'm called to do!"
My husband stared at me frozen with the toothbrush still in his mouth.
I continue, "It's an amazing feeling to be able to take care of the boys and have the energy and want to help others on my day off!"
He stared, I shrugged with a smile, then ran back to bed and pulled the covers to my chin.
For a little less than a decade I've been drawn to "service" but fear kept me from taking on more than just a few projects. I was fearful because of an inner monologue telling me I was "too flakey". I was also afraid if I volunteered I would get suckered into doing more than I felt I should and end up drained, instead of feeling fulfilled. As you can tell from that statement, I was also never in a mental place where giving and doing was from a place of purity, not ego driven.
A couple weeks prior to my day off, Tara Mohr explained in our first Playing Big teleconference that a big misconception regarding callings is that we have only one ultimate calling in our lifetime. Sometimes we can have one large calling and be called to do many other things. Or, our main calling can change over time. Or maybe we just have lots of small callings.
Since the Calling call, and the universes very loud and unsubtle signals for one event in particular, I have been opening myself up to different things. Events, people, projects, etc.
Recently the strongest calling is to simply be there. A call to be present. Being present for others when they are going through something difficult, so they know not to give up hope. So the affected can feel how community bonds us and can lift us up when we need it to. That weakness, sadness, and/or loneliness is less difficult when surrounded by caring, loving and present company. When allowing others to help them when they need it, they are learning to help others.
I asked my husband later that night why he didn't respond to what I said to him. He said he wasn't sure what I meant or if I was being serious. In retrospect, it was confusing. My gratitude was serious. My husband fulfills me and is the most remarkable guy I know. Without complaint, he works 6 days a week so I can stay at home with the boys. If I need help, he graciously offers.
We talk about me working in the future, but he is willing to continue working this schedule if that's what will keep me a happy and well rounded woman. Full time jobs and my psyche dont mix well, especially during the winter.
It is so beautiful to have my husband's unwavering support, even when it is to help a stranger and assist in something I don't even quite understand yet.
Having my husband's love, support, and security fulfills me in a way I wish everyone could feel. Add that to the Playing Big program and my life is becoming one filled with determination to be available to respond to future callings of purpose. Whatever they may be!
Similar posts: GIVING, SUPPORT, WISH
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Monday, April 29, 2013
Disclaimer
Ah the beloved guest post! I will have a guest appearance at another blogger's site this week. For some reason, when I submit a post for approval and receive confirmation that it will go live, the pressure gets to me.
I worry about any visitors that are directed from the host site to mine and what they will think of my blog roll.
For any newbie visitors, welcome to my online oasis! Last week was a walk down memory lane because it marked a year off of alchohol. I don't blog about alcoholism or sobriety often. But it does get mixed in there along with other not so awesome things. To stay true to the blog's mission and myself, I write whatever is tugging at me.
My attempt is to make this blog an upbeat and positive place for people to come visit. One of my girlfriends said the sweetest thing to me a little bit ago that really warmed my heart. She said, "When I'm at work and it sucks, I look your blog up on my phone and it's a little piece of goodness to improve my mood.:" Really!?! Too friggin nice!
Anywho, this is my little disclaimer that "s" got deep last week but this blog's moods, like my life's moods, change with the tide. I hope you enjoy some of what you read and that you will stop by when you think of me. Or, share me with your friends.
Love,
Marcian
I worry about any visitors that are directed from the host site to mine and what they will think of my blog roll.
For any newbie visitors, welcome to my online oasis! Last week was a walk down memory lane because it marked a year off of alchohol. I don't blog about alcoholism or sobriety often. But it does get mixed in there along with other not so awesome things. To stay true to the blog's mission and myself, I write whatever is tugging at me.
My attempt is to make this blog an upbeat and positive place for people to come visit. One of my girlfriends said the sweetest thing to me a little bit ago that really warmed my heart. She said, "When I'm at work and it sucks, I look your blog up on my phone and it's a little piece of goodness to improve my mood.:" Really!?! Too friggin nice!
Anywho, this is my little disclaimer that "s" got deep last week but this blog's moods, like my life's moods, change with the tide. I hope you enjoy some of what you read and that you will stop by when you think of me. Or, share me with your friends.
Love,
Marcian
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Sobriety
There hasnt been a day
I woke and had to say
"What's wrong with me?
Why did I do this to myself again?
When will this feeling wane?
Who did I offend?
How many fences do I have to mend?
Where will this path end?"
Sobriety is hard
Alcoholism is harder
Alcoholism strains the body, relationships, mind and soul
Sobriety rewards with energy, clarity, resilience and strength
I woke and had to say
"What's wrong with me?
Why did I do this to myself again?
When will this feeling wane?
Who did I offend?
How many fences do I have to mend?
Where will this path end?"
Alcoholism is harder
Alcoholism strains the body, relationships, mind and soul
Sobriety rewards with energy, clarity, resilience and strength
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